Friday Reader: Womanspeak – And What It Really Means

womanspeak1

I don’t claim to know everything about women, or for that matter men, or even people.

Having been surrounded by females growing up – I had 4 sisters, all of whom served proudly as commissioned officers in the US Marine Corps – I think I understand a little more about women than your basic, average Joe.

So here’s my shot to put it all into some kind of humorous perspective as a Friday Reader.

What she says is in bold, what she really means is in italics.

Can’t we just be friends?

There is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

I just need some space.

Without you in it.

womanspeak2

Do I look fat in this dress?

We haven’t had a fight in a while.

No, pizza is fine.

You cheap slob!

I just don’t want a boyfriend now.

I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.

I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?

I can’t believe you have nothing planned.

Come here.

My puppy does this, too.

I like you, but…

I don’t like you..

Of course I love you!

Just not in that way.

You never listen.

You never listen.

We’re moving too fast.

I’m not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

I’ll be ready in a minute.

I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.

womanspeak3

Oh no, I’ll pay for myself.

I’m just being nice; there’s no way I’m going dutch.

I’m just going out with the girls.

We’re gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

My sisters read this blog on a daily basis. So, enjoy Vicki, Lisa, Connie & Grace.

And to the rest of you, I hope I’ve learned something.

Crash

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